sin-ser-i-tee

Sincerity [sin-ser-i-tee]... freedom from deceit, hypocrisy, or duplicity; probity in intention or in communicating; earnestness.

I add this definition because I think very few people really know the definition of sincerity. It seems that throughout the years whenever I have had a disagreement with a friend it was due to a perception of deceipt on my part.

These experiences throws me off every time because my mind doesn't live in a world of deception or hypocrisy. While my intellect might be deep, it's deep with information. It's not deep in anything else. As a matter of fact, I hate to state the truth but I am quite a "dumb blond" at times. My morning does not start by asking myself how I can make someone BE who I want them to be or DO what I want them to do. I don't try to set up the world as I want it. I try to set up the world as it should be, a place where people can be themselves and feel comfortable risking that rawness with a friend or lover. I want to support and uplift. I want to be a refuge to those who I care about. If a lover isn't what I want and need, instead of molding (or being disillusioned that I am capable of changing a whole lifetime of what defines them), I respectfully release that fish back into the sea. A world of disillusion at this stage in my life is torture, its the equivalent of a massive never ending headache. Something that those who know me well, know I want to invest little precious time or energy on. All you have to do is read my face and that reality becomes quite clear..



But today I stop to wonder why.. Why would someone imagine a person who by all accounts has shown sincerity, to be anything but.

My conclusion... I think at times we get caught up in our histories.. The histories of those that came before.. Philosopical writers such as Herman Simon would call these psychological short cuts. Their sole purpose is to help us weed through the barrage of information that get thrown at us on a daily basis.

Our internal conversations go something like this: "Why did she talk about that to her?" Oh, she must have a bottom line because you know what.. last time something similiar happened with this girl Beth and what she was doing was..."

Sound familiar? I'm sure you can fill in the blanks...

Is it normal this dialogue, absolutely. Is there anything we can do to stop it? I would say have a sincere talk but let's be honest, that conversation takes bravery. Let's face it most of us aren't brave. We are afraid of what might end up being on the other side of that conversation.

For those who know your subject well, I would implore you to tally your experiences and interactions with them. What have they done or said to show you a lack of sincerity and a deceptive nature. If the pros outweight the cons.. ok, write them off.. Move on knowing you are validated by getting rid of dead weight. Weight that will only add to a drowning, an inevitable demise. Nobody needs that energy around. It's okay, let that fool go.. I give you permission!! Some friends are meant for a moment and lesson, not a lifetime!

If instead, they've shown a great deal of civility, character and honesty. Weight that as well.. Stop and redirect that internal conversation you're having, reconfigure those psychological short cuts. Examine the definition of sin-ser-i-tee and don't trap yourself into a short cut. Instead, nurture and protect that relationship. Allow it to flourish and grow. Get your ass out of that corner, stand up straight, speak up, and be brave!! Speak words of healing and hold on to the precious gem you have in front of you.. That, my friend, is one of those rare friendship of a lifetime!

perfect girl or perfect time

So we all know right now there are two main themes in my life -- being single, and finishing graduate school. As this is my reality, I will apologize now for the one dimensional side of my recent blogs.. I was going to bite my tongue on this one but recent reflections have caused me to place the microscope, once again, on the differences between men and women when they're dating.. Some of you may find this information to be faulty and that's fine, I love an open dialogue and I never claim to have written the textbook on the opposite sex and dating.. but.. this is some good food for thought.

I have maybe in my life had a handful of relationships that I would consider substantial. The first guy didn't show up until I was nearly 22. He was a jokester and I was pulled in by his charisma.. In retrospect, I tried to convince myself of its foundation, but it was more like a house built on quick stand; unrealistic, a fantasy, a fleeting moment..

The next man courted me "hard core", he pursued, he was down to get his woman!! I tried to convince myself that I was as infatuated, but honest truth is, he annoyed the hell out of me. Nothing he did, just his whole being. While I thought he was a great guy, our aura's (if you believe in such a thing) fought daily!!

A large gap existed between him and the next. A guy who was absolutely gorgeous, a friend, someone who was always trying to please me. That ended because he didn't know himself and was trying to live in the moment. At times I didn't know what that moment was, I didn't know who or what he wanted. To this day, I believe he didn't either.

Lastly came a man that was perfect on paper. Everything I thought I wanted. Behind the scenes, not so much. You know what they say, sometimes love blinds us.. All I can say about him is that he was a lesson I needed to learn. Without him, I probably would continue to live in a fantasy of what a relationship is, not facing the actual work and responsibility that it takes.

When I contemplate all these men, and my relationships with them I notice one thing is true. Not a single one was at a place to really commit to a relationship. Their actions showed or they claimed they weren't ready, they needed to get the bigger house, or buy the car that had them looking like they had it all together. They were waiting for everything to be "perfect", there was the claim of "timing".

It's funny because I think of these experiences and those of my girlfriends, and the resulting perspective is the same. A man, by his very nature, is socialized and trained to provide. To be the protectors, the gatekeepers, the foundation. I won't claim not to admire and respect that. Fact is, that trait is sexy as hell. Biblical or not, I want a man who can make me feel safe, not only physically but financially and emotionally. I think that is an extremely admirable position to want to be in.

When I think about these men though, I think about women and our perspective on the issue. I have had many a conversation with my three (maybe four) exes. When I see my parents, or my siblings and their relationships, I see them taking that life journey together. The ups and the downs, validating, supporting, witnessing. I don't see that there ever really is a "perfect". Life is a journey, and you struggle one year, and you're on top the next. Waiting for that "perfect" has you being stuck in a position where life has passed you by...

Recently I told a friend that this experience makes me feel like men build themselves up to be in the right position and when that next "worthy" lady comes, its all game! They're ready to say "we're ready for something substantial, something concrete, maybe even for the whole white picket fence".. Before that, forget it... Women on the other hand, we look for that elusive soul mate, that person who will be all the stuff the romance books are made of. lol.. The person we can be physically attracted to, that gets us on a 1000 levels... They just want to battle the storm with that man by their side.. We fight the battle of the right man and think little about timing..

As I have said, this is my theory, and it may be wrong.. I am wondering.. what do you guys think?

why we forgive...

The past few months of my life have been difficult ones. I have faced some ups and downs in different areas of my life. I have had people I care about judge and pick apart my choices. While in no way is that easy and in some respects I might disagree I have challenged myself to be open to their viewpoints, experience and interpretations. As my family and friends know I am constantly reevaluating myself and what I do as it relates to my beliefs. I strongly believe that growth takes being humble, being open, self reflection, and the guidance of key figures (not necessarily everyone)in our lives. I have learned my mistakes in communicating and have learned when I need to speak up and be more clear in my implied and spoken messages.

I state this all to relay an experience I recently had. My lovely niece is experiencing a challenge with a friend. Someone who she loves dearly and has been an important part of her life. She was placed in a situation where this friend has shut her off and she's hurt by that. In talking to my niece not only did I relay similar experiences I have been through but I made the following statement "most people are genuinely good people. In their minds their logic makes perfect sense and they are doing the very best they can with the knowledge and experiences they hold". My mistakes in past relationships haven't been because I was bad, it has been because I was doing the best I could with what I knew at that time.

I told her that in my experience that person will want to be friends again. I told her that the most important thing we can do is to try to be open to people that are different from us, to hold our integrity, and to be forgiving.

I have had this same conversation with friends, some of whom have in turn called my naïve, but when I shared my thoughts with my niece I was recommitted to these ideals.

A child raised by an alcoholic may become one. A child abused may abuse. I honestly feel that there's a period in which that child as an adult must alter their tracks. It is our responsibility as a grown mature adult to alter our course and not excuse poor behavior. However as much as I believe this I also believe that there is a period of adjustment that this child transiting into adulthood goes through.

As a friend, as a human being it is our job to be kind and patient, to forgive. At the same time we must recognize when and where patience and kindness blurs into abuse. No one should mistake kindness for weakness and walk all over that friend.

So to my niece I say "I'm sorry sweetheart, the pain of loss or betrayal is never easy. Just remember that like you're not perfect, neither is anyone else. Try to be open, kind, patience, and forgive. Forgive but don't forget. Don't let forgiveness be defined as abuse. In the end and by its very definition forgiveness is more a healing that will uplift and carry you than something that is given as a free pass to that other person"

you're beautiful...

you're cute,
you're adorable
you're sexy,
you're sweet,
you're lovely,
you're a diamond,
you're a star,
you're my sunshine,
you're great,
you're awesome,
you're an angel,
you're unique,
I think a time or two we've heard them all.
The sentiments of our family. Or a dear friend.
The person who we call our significant other.
A colleague. A teacher. A counselor.
But nothing resonates as deep as "beautiful".
To be called that is to be seen for more than the superficial.
To be seen wholly and for more than just a pretty face.
Hearing that word has been a deciding factor for me.
It has been my barometer of feeling known...

I look at my nieces who are graduating this year and I see unparalleled beauty.
In their giving spirit, in their purity of heart, their affectionate way.
Our family has always been close and strong, but it is truly our legacy that
is the most beautiful of life's miracles.

To Laura and Desiree... You have a world full of wonder and promise. A world
that is waiting to be unleashed, enjoyed, treasured, mastered. My wish for you is
that you continue to live. Enjoy tomorrow, have no regrets, learn and blossom.
And know that no matter what happens in life that might get you down,
you both are extremely and awe-strikingly "beautiful". In life and in love,
settle for nothing less!!

Titi Tata love you girls!!! (and remember I'm always here) ;)

love and loss

Sometimes in life you experience a loss that shakes the very ground beneath your feet, you feel like you are experiencing an alternate universe, your body numbs, your vision dims and you can't wrap your mind around it...

What I have learned in life is that love makes us all vulnerable. Loving a friend, a relative or even a partner is a risk because equally yoked with love is the risk of loss. A loss of life or a loss of reality or perspective.

Loss is never easy. There is never an easy way to cope, to move on, to find balance. It takes time, its a journey full of every emotion that exists, and more often than not those emotions come like a rollercoaster, sudden and unpredictable. At times it feels like you're climbing Mount Everest or walking the Sahara desert, heated, dizzy and confused. Other times it feels like a warm breezy day, peaceful and calm.

As hard as it is however, loss reminds us of how deep and real the love is. It let's us understand how beautiful and affecting those relationships are in our lives. Love is an ability to open yourself up; to share your innermost thoughts, ideas, goals and dreams. To learn how to explore, experience life, LIVE!! To experience selflessness, joy, beauty. To have someone witness your daily feats, milestones.. your life's legacy.

I have to admit that I have been blessed in life to have rarely experienced loss. However when I stop to think of loss, I think of it as part of my life's journey. I think of how it brought with it a love that at its best awakened me and at its worst taught me about myself; a love that served to strengthen me when I needed strength, humble me when I needed humbling, and lift me up when I needed to be lifted.

Loss comes in different shapes, color and sizes and there is never a way to sum up loss as "one size fits all". I would never claim to tell someone how to grieve loss. What I will say is that life is meant to be lived -- so live!!... Allow yourself to feel the depths of emotions that come with loss, but make steps to live and feel the richness that is LOVE once again!!!

Cuz I'm the shit...

They say that cockiness is unattractive but in the same breath they say confidence is sexy...

So I wonder what makes you cocky as opposed to confident

I got to admit, I think very highly of myself.. I find myself extremely attractive. I am tall, curious, ambitious, intelligent, comfortable in my skin, confident in my ability, easy going, funny... Did I say I look good too??

I am giving, caring, loyal, compassionate, open, understanding, friendly... Did I say I look good too??

I think my friends are lucky to have me around to lighten the mood, and help them enjoy life. I think my family see me as dependable, non-judgemental, and full of spirit. I think that a man couldn't do better than to pursue me knowing that I am all of the above but also a partner, considerate, affectionate, committed and nurturing.

Sometimes I am told "nobody loves Tara more than Tara" but this statement honestly confuses me... Why should anyone love me more?

The world can be hard. You are faced by media images of what is perceived as beautiful but lacks any root in reality. Images or words that cut to the soul of young impressionable kids. They see and are told what they should feel about themselves. They are bombarded by these things. They face emotional up and downs. They experience journeys that take them through different life stages and personality crises. I refuse to let other's opinions mold my self-perception.

My image of myself helps me slap these stereotypes in the face. I don't need someone to make me feel that I am worthy. I know I am. I know qualities of love, patience, and kindness and I recognize that beauty in myself.

So at the end of the day call me cocky, call me confidence (did I mention I look good??)... makes no difference to me and ask me if I care cuz bottom line... I'm the shit!!!

I need a shopping list

I am the kind of girl that likes to go grocery shopping without a list. When I am at the store I am moved to buy whatever looks good. Does it smell nice? Is there a potential new flavor to experience? Does is satisfy my sweet tooth or my current craving? The problem with not taking a list to the store is that I'm driven to buy things that I don't need, that I will spend ridiculous amounts of money on, that could have a high likelihood of being wasted, or that are ultimately unhealthy?

Lately I see the world of dating in the same light?

I recently polled my friends to ask them how they define attraction. I wanted to know what it is about a person that sparks an initial interest. I've recently been on a few dates where it seemed the men have practically drooled at my feet. Unfortunately however that seemed to be the extent of their desire to know me. I felt like a "trophy" that was to be nicely displayed for the enjoyment of their friends, family or simply their personal ego.

I'm reading a book that helps you assess yourself, figure out what you want in a future life partner, and learn how to be receptive and have positive life experiences. In the book the author discusses attraction as being different for everyone. In specific she discusses three examples of attraction:

-attraction = a high that you experience when your man walks into the room
-attraction = a soulful connection and a feeling of being meant for each other
-attraction = as expressed through a sense of ease, comfort or security


My experiences of late have had me thinking that for the men in question, their desires lived mostly in option number one. For me, attraction waivered between doors number two and three. Attraction to me, is measured by feeling like I have a common ground with a man. Something that comes with a deep understanding of them - a deeper connection. That attraction is made stronger by a feeling of comfort in the dialogue, myself in my skin, my surroundings, and a sense that "I won't be blindly typecast or bound in a box". That I can be free to be myself and be desired more by my character, humor, and personality than by the fact that I look good in that short, short dress.

I am not saying that having an animalistic attraction to someone is bad. Not in the slightest. I just want "more". I don't want to feel as if I am judged solely on my "public" appeal.

Going grocery shopping without a list, drives you to buy what looks good. Over the years I have tasted that thing that was sinful. But I'm finding that in this phase of my life, I need a list. Not a list of the ideal mate, with ridiculous standards and the unachievable perfect "man", but a shopping sheet that makes it known that I know what I want and that I am not looking for just any thing to throw in my cart.. Something I think men and women often so blindly do..

It is like I am buying a new car but I am also weighing all the pros and cons...

I'm assessing attraction. I am weighing what I want as far as spiritual needs. I am thinking about important financial matters, spending/saving habits, priorities. How we communicate. What his appearance says about him. How likely we are to enjoy the same activities. whether we desire the same social level/frequencies. Our ideas of families. Whether we can share a true partnership. Whether we have similar styles of affection. If we have similar "healthy" lifestyles. And most importantly if there is shared values of loyalty, honesty, commitment, respect, drive, and compassion..

Maybe it happens with age, or maybe its just me.. but as much as I might want to throw something in the cart on that whim, I find it more satisfying to shop with a list.. A list that will help me find the items that will not just nourish my pallet but most importantly help me nourish my full soul

What's your government name???

So I am trying this thing called dating.. After five long years spent mostly in a relationship, I am out on the market again.

So everyone who knows the emotions that come with a break-up knows that when you jump back in its like dipping your foot in a pool. You do it inch by inch. Eyes wide open, being reflexive of the man. Trying to be open, but at the same time being cautious. Its unfortunate but the reality is that a LOT of people aren't who they say they are. And I tell you what, I have had endless hours of amusement so far. So I thought I would do a funny list of things to watch out for in the dating game.. Without further ado:

You might be a fool if.. you date a guy who only texts you during the day -- during business hours and mysteriously disappears in the evenings and on weekends.

You might want to watch your step if... you date a guy only on preselected dates and any sense of adventure causes the guy to break out in hives.

You might want to do a double take if... you get a call for a date about an hour before the date and the brotha says "let's just kick it at home". (one of two things are happening here, either he waited for the main chick to leave.. or ummm yeah.. that brotha waited to see if anything better came along. Either way, he doesn't want to get caught out with you).

Tread lightly if... you haven't been to his house within the first month of dating...Ummm.. yeah, no other words needed.

It is probably a bad sign if...he never receives calls when you are with him or he takes the call in the privacy of another room. Phone calls with your kids, mom, siblings, friends or work can't be that "top secret"..

Flashing red lights if...the man can NEVER be found when you call... but five minutes later your phone rings (ugh see previous item on the list).

You might have found a loser if... you get a request for a sexy picture before you've even talked on the phone..

Stop and turn around if.. the man can't stop talking about his momma or you head on a first date and she's sitting there with him waiting for your arrival.

Its highly suspect if.. the brotha is sooo into you but you've yet to disclose your last name (p.s. booty calls aren't very deep relationships)

You might want to head for the hills if... his "best" friend has a tattoo on his arm of popeye as a baby with a caption that reads "fuck the world"

Be careful if... he is so much of a work-a-holic that he travels over 70% of the time (this means he's packing a bag to spend the weekend in Laveen with his main bitch)

Wait for it.. the brotha goes hiking with you and leaves you alone on the mountain..

It is probably a bad sign if.. you head out on a date and he claims to have forgotten his wallet

Drumline please... he sweats when you use his government name (on blogs, facebook, etc)

Ladies... you're welcome!! Now again, both eyes wide open... LMAO.. happy hunting!!

It wasn't me, it was the world

When life events happen, human nature orients us towards one of two directions. We either assign the cause to our personal efforts, or we claim that a bigger "outside" force is at hand. Generally we assign the good things with our efforts, our locus of control is internal. When bad happens, our locus is external.

Leaders are born, not made
Leaders are made, not born

People often succeed because they are at the right place at the right time
Success is mostly dependent on hard work and ability

Good children are mainly the products of good parents.
Some children turn out bad no matter how their parents behave.

Good marriages result when both partners continuously work on the relationship
Some marriages are going to fail because the partners are just incompatible

When I came across this self-assessment recently I thought about relationships I have had, intimate and otherwise. I remember once talking to a friend and stating how when a person is asked why a relationship fails, it will display their level of maturity. A relationship, as I have stated numerous times, is a sum of its parts. Generally a failure is due to both halves of the whole. I think it is the sign of maturity when a person can step outside themselves and claim that. However as this assessment shows, human nature works in the opposite way. If something went wrong "it wasn't me, it was the world"...

I didn't meet that deadline because I was bombarded by crazy students demanding random things
I was late for work because I got stopped at each traffic light on the way in
I failed at that test because the material was unrelated to what we studied in class
My relationship ended because she was crazy and never listened

It is too difficult, too embarrassing, too much of a shock to our perception of ourselves, our core definition of ourselves, to see the situation in any other way.

I probably could have set daily or weekly goals to meet that deadline
I should've allowed time for traffic delays
I probably should've prepared by looking at all the material, lectures and readings
I could have been clear about my needs and wants being different than hers

I think that to learn and grow we must critically examine ourselves; our experiences, our personal values, our life visions, our actions and our locus of control. We must stop and look at our contradictions and determine whether we believe that our future success, in work and life, depends mainly on circumstances we can not control, "it wasn't me, it was the world"... Or if instead, we are the masters of our own fates...

It started with a bar of soap

It started with a bar of soap... I remember clear as day, browsing through Target. I was standing in the isle about to grab a bar of the soap that I had used for years. A brand that I unconsciously purchased for no other reason than because it was what I'd seen my mom purchase throughout the years. I was about to drop it in my cart when I saw an interesting wrapped bar of soap. The label stated that part of the proceeds went to the World Wildlife Fund and when I kept reading I saw that the product was 100% natural, with no chemicals added. I remember standing in that isle for a good 15 minutes trying to decide which item to purchase. Would I go with my tradition? What did my purchase say about me? I thought about the fact that I loved nature and animals and I realized why it would be beneficial to go with the new product. Why not support those values? I had honestly never contemplated these questions.

In 2008 I met a man that by all accounts became my closest male friend. While our relationship was at times contradictory, it served a function of challenging me by forcing me to address this very question. It forced me to examine my beliefs and to think about how those beliefs aligned with my actions. He really pushed me to think critically, to learn, grow and evolve in all areas of my life.

Shortly after that, in the year 2009, I began to take classes in Sustainability. My life's goal became to consciously think about what my choices and decisions said about who I am, what I believe in, and what I strive to represent. If I stop and review past blogs, I can see my progression throughout the years.

I desire to be a woman who stands behind her values of honesty, compassion, kindness, equality, loyalty, friendship, perseverance, integrity, sustainability and the environment. At times I succeed with great skill, at times I fall a little short of the mark. I, like all humans, am a work in progress but my value comes in my sincere contemplation.

Today was a first day of one of my master's classes and it has been made clear to me that my whole purpose in pursuing this degree is to help others face themselves as well. It is to allow people to examine their daily choices, through tactics such as strategic planning, effective communication, and having empathy and understanding of a person's value, needs and priorities. Yes I believe in the field of Sustainability. The integration of human needs, economic responsibility, and the protection of the earth. We can't help fight international poverty without addressing how our desire to accumulate material wealth in the U.S. affect other nations. We can't fight water shortages without responsible agriculture practices. We have to think of the correlations of these three sustainability pillars to many every day world challenges.

However my intent in my studies have never been to force my values on someone else, instead I want to help them evolve to pursue their values, passions, and strengths. In work I want my employees to strive towards their best and recognize their strengths. In life I want my friends and family to find balance, love, and joy through their own critical examination.

I have always loved a simple quote by Ghandi which says that we have to "be the change we want to be". For me, that journey started with a bar of soap, has been fostered by some good relationships, and continues to be a daily challenge that I am excited and eager to meet!! So I will ask, what does your "bar of soap" say about you?...

I'm not a build-a-bear

I'm not a build-a-bear... Meaning I'm not the kind of woman that can be cut up into small pieces to be glued together into your model of perfection.

My eyes are big, beautiful, and watchful
My hair as wild and as free as my spirit
My hips are strong, wide, but made to grab onto
I have arms that are made to hold and support
My lips to speak wisdom and kiss away sorrows
I have a heart that is pure, giving, promises unconditional love, and refuses to be bitter
My intellect is a library of discovery
My words sincere, truth, and kindness
I have hands made to caress and protect
Laughter, joy and gratitude pour out of me
I am a sexy bitch
I am tall, I am able, and I am worthy

Yet you seem to want to tear me down.

Piece me back together with bits and pieces of others you've known..

I am a proud, I am strong, I am an independent woman who knows her values and will always remain true to herself.
I am a strong bitch, WHOLE, and what I'm not, is your fucking build-a-bear!!

Nosey Biatch...

So if you know me, you know that people fascinate me. I am one of those girls who can be found spending a marathon day viewing the real housewives, love and hip hop, the braxtons or some other equally ridiculous reality show. It shocks me that some people would allow their lives to be so public, but I admit when you start watching you can't help but to sit on the edge of your seat to see what next bit of stupidity/insanity might unfold. This phenomenon can't be singled out to the arena of reality tv, Facebook itself is another form of obsessing into another's four walls. We sit idly by and watch what is going on...

Maybe we're just curious about other's lives and sincerely want to share in their successes and mourn their losses
Maybe we're using the information to gossip
Maybe we're the kind of person who finds their worth in "comparing" what we have with someone else

I remember for years feeling so blessed that I never had to deal with a man that had a Facebook account. Sitting on each other's pages, endlessly obsessing about what may or may not be going on.

"Who's this chick?"
"What she mean by that comment?"
"Why you looking at her that way?"
"Why this bitch the first to like all your posts, nosey biatch??"

Somehow though, in today's age, even excluding yourself from the world of Facebook may not prevent a person from getting caught up.. by another person's innate and innocent curiosity, by our desire to be in the "know", to sit on the edge of our seats!! It's drama, its suspense, it seems fake, but is it...

Love and Hip Hop this season has been mind blowing (or maybe the phrase is mind numbing) to me, to see a man live and share his life with the mother of his kids, someone he's lived with for over 10 years, but then have a side relationship with his artist, actually wed her and show his ass on national tv having this bitch pinned down on a piano.. smdh..

It hurts my heart to know others who have been in this same position, either as the 10 year chick or the newbie. No woman should have to deal with deception, and as I have learned throughout the years, deception can take on many faces..

There's that face that flat out lies
There's that face that leaves out the punch line or most crucial part of the story
Or my favorite, the face that tells you 99% truth so that you trust them and they can manipulate and play on that trust (sneaky little bastards)

The one thing you realize is that deception can leave you acting outside your character... Doing things you wouldn't normally believe in, making your business even more public to hurt the other parties involved, or as my neighbor displayed recently expressing your emotions "waiting to exhale" style by throwing piles of his unmentionables on the front lawn!!!

When I think about myself, and my innate curiosity, it makes me realize that sometimes, facing the drama, scanning the random Facebook page only causes me to cringe.. I have to stop and say to myself, I don't want to know these people's skeletons... so Tara, stop being a nosey biatch!!!