So I am trying this thing called dating.. After five long years spent mostly in a relationship, I am out on the market again.
So everyone who knows the emotions that come with a break-up knows that when you jump back in its like dipping your foot in a pool. You do it inch by inch. Eyes wide open, being reflexive of the man. Trying to be open, but at the same time being cautious. Its unfortunate but the reality is that a LOT of people aren't who they say they are. And I tell you what, I have had endless hours of amusement so far. So I thought I would do a funny list of things to watch out for in the dating game.. Without further ado:
You might be a fool if.. you date a guy who only texts you during the day -- during business hours and mysteriously disappears in the evenings and on weekends.
You might want to watch your step if... you date a guy only on preselected dates and any sense of adventure causes the guy to break out in hives.
You might want to do a double take if... you get a call for a date about an hour before the date and the brotha says "let's just kick it at home". (one of two things are happening here, either he waited for the main chick to leave.. or ummm yeah.. that brotha waited to see if anything better came along. Either way, he doesn't want to get caught out with you).
Tread lightly if... you haven't been to his house within the first month of dating...Ummm.. yeah, no other words needed.
It is probably a bad sign if...he never receives calls when you are with him or he takes the call in the privacy of another room. Phone calls with your kids, mom, siblings, friends or work can't be that "top secret"..
Flashing red lights if...the man can NEVER be found when you call... but five minutes later your phone rings (ugh see previous item on the list).
You might have found a loser if... you get a request for a sexy picture before you've even talked on the phone..
Stop and turn around if.. the man can't stop talking about his momma or you head on a first date and she's sitting there with him waiting for your arrival.
Its highly suspect if.. the brotha is sooo into you but you've yet to disclose your last name (p.s. booty calls aren't very deep relationships)
You might want to head for the hills if... his "best" friend has a tattoo on his arm of popeye as a baby with a caption that reads "fuck the world"
Be careful if... he is so much of a work-a-holic that he travels over 70% of the time (this means he's packing a bag to spend the weekend in Laveen with his main bitch)
Wait for it.. the brotha goes hiking with you and leaves you alone on the mountain..
It is probably a bad sign if.. you head out on a date and he claims to have forgotten his wallet
Drumline please... he sweats when you use his government name (on blogs, facebook, etc)
Ladies... you're welcome!! Now again, both eyes wide open... LMAO.. happy hunting!!
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Saturday, February 8, 2014
It wasn't me, it was the world
When life events happen, human nature orients us towards one of two directions. We either assign the cause to our personal efforts, or we claim that a bigger "outside" force is at hand. Generally we assign the good things with our efforts, our locus of control is internal. When bad happens, our locus is external.
Leaders are born, not made
Leaders are made, not born
People often succeed because they are at the right place at the right time
Success is mostly dependent on hard work and ability
Good children are mainly the products of good parents.
Some children turn out bad no matter how their parents behave.
Good marriages result when both partners continuously work on the relationship
Some marriages are going to fail because the partners are just incompatible
When I came across this self-assessment recently I thought about relationships I have had, intimate and otherwise. I remember once talking to a friend and stating how when a person is asked why a relationship fails, it will display their level of maturity. A relationship, as I have stated numerous times, is a sum of its parts. Generally a failure is due to both halves of the whole. I think it is the sign of maturity when a person can step outside themselves and claim that. However as this assessment shows, human nature works in the opposite way. If something went wrong "it wasn't me, it was the world"...
I didn't meet that deadline because I was bombarded by crazy students demanding random things
I was late for work because I got stopped at each traffic light on the way in
I failed at that test because the material was unrelated to what we studied in class
My relationship ended because she was crazy and never listened
It is too difficult, too embarrassing, too much of a shock to our perception of ourselves, our core definition of ourselves, to see the situation in any other way.
I probably could have set daily or weekly goals to meet that deadline
I should've allowed time for traffic delays
I probably should've prepared by looking at all the material, lectures and readings
I could have been clear about my needs and wants being different than hers
I think that to learn and grow we must critically examine ourselves; our experiences, our personal values, our life visions, our actions and our locus of control. We must stop and look at our contradictions and determine whether we believe that our future success, in work and life, depends mainly on circumstances we can not control, "it wasn't me, it was the world"... Or if instead, we are the masters of our own fates...
Leaders are born, not made
Leaders are made, not born
People often succeed because they are at the right place at the right time
Success is mostly dependent on hard work and ability
Good children are mainly the products of good parents.
Some children turn out bad no matter how their parents behave.
Good marriages result when both partners continuously work on the relationship
Some marriages are going to fail because the partners are just incompatible
When I came across this self-assessment recently I thought about relationships I have had, intimate and otherwise. I remember once talking to a friend and stating how when a person is asked why a relationship fails, it will display their level of maturity. A relationship, as I have stated numerous times, is a sum of its parts. Generally a failure is due to both halves of the whole. I think it is the sign of maturity when a person can step outside themselves and claim that. However as this assessment shows, human nature works in the opposite way. If something went wrong "it wasn't me, it was the world"...
I didn't meet that deadline because I was bombarded by crazy students demanding random things
I was late for work because I got stopped at each traffic light on the way in
I failed at that test because the material was unrelated to what we studied in class
My relationship ended because she was crazy and never listened
It is too difficult, too embarrassing, too much of a shock to our perception of ourselves, our core definition of ourselves, to see the situation in any other way.
I probably could have set daily or weekly goals to meet that deadline
I should've allowed time for traffic delays
I probably should've prepared by looking at all the material, lectures and readings
I could have been clear about my needs and wants being different than hers
I think that to learn and grow we must critically examine ourselves; our experiences, our personal values, our life visions, our actions and our locus of control. We must stop and look at our contradictions and determine whether we believe that our future success, in work and life, depends mainly on circumstances we can not control, "it wasn't me, it was the world"... Or if instead, we are the masters of our own fates...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)