It started with a bar of soap

It started with a bar of soap... I remember clear as day, browsing through Target. I was standing in the isle about to grab a bar of the soap that I had used for years. A brand that I unconsciously purchased for no other reason than because it was what I'd seen my mom purchase throughout the years. I was about to drop it in my cart when I saw an interesting wrapped bar of soap. The label stated that part of the proceeds went to the World Wildlife Fund and when I kept reading I saw that the product was 100% natural, with no chemicals added. I remember standing in that isle for a good 15 minutes trying to decide which item to purchase. Would I go with my tradition? What did my purchase say about me? I thought about the fact that I loved nature and animals and I realized why it would be beneficial to go with the new product. Why not support those values? I had honestly never contemplated these questions.

In 2008 I met a man that by all accounts became my closest male friend. While our relationship was at times contradictory, it served a function of challenging me by forcing me to address this very question. It forced me to examine my beliefs and to think about how those beliefs aligned with my actions. He really pushed me to think critically, to learn, grow and evolve in all areas of my life.

Shortly after that, in the year 2009, I began to take classes in Sustainability. My life's goal became to consciously think about what my choices and decisions said about who I am, what I believe in, and what I strive to represent. If I stop and review past blogs, I can see my progression throughout the years.

I desire to be a woman who stands behind her values of honesty, compassion, kindness, equality, loyalty, friendship, perseverance, integrity, sustainability and the environment. At times I succeed with great skill, at times I fall a little short of the mark. I, like all humans, am a work in progress but my value comes in my sincere contemplation.

Today was a first day of one of my master's classes and it has been made clear to me that my whole purpose in pursuing this degree is to help others face themselves as well. It is to allow people to examine their daily choices, through tactics such as strategic planning, effective communication, and having empathy and understanding of a person's value, needs and priorities. Yes I believe in the field of Sustainability. The integration of human needs, economic responsibility, and the protection of the earth. We can't help fight international poverty without addressing how our desire to accumulate material wealth in the U.S. affect other nations. We can't fight water shortages without responsible agriculture practices. We have to think of the correlations of these three sustainability pillars to many every day world challenges.

However my intent in my studies have never been to force my values on someone else, instead I want to help them evolve to pursue their values, passions, and strengths. In work I want my employees to strive towards their best and recognize their strengths. In life I want my friends and family to find balance, love, and joy through their own critical examination.

I have always loved a simple quote by Ghandi which says that we have to "be the change we want to be". For me, that journey started with a bar of soap, has been fostered by some good relationships, and continues to be a daily challenge that I am excited and eager to meet!! So I will ask, what does your "bar of soap" say about you?...

I'm not a build-a-bear

I'm not a build-a-bear... Meaning I'm not the kind of woman that can be cut up into small pieces to be glued together into your model of perfection.

My eyes are big, beautiful, and watchful
My hair as wild and as free as my spirit
My hips are strong, wide, but made to grab onto
I have arms that are made to hold and support
My lips to speak wisdom and kiss away sorrows
I have a heart that is pure, giving, promises unconditional love, and refuses to be bitter
My intellect is a library of discovery
My words sincere, truth, and kindness
I have hands made to caress and protect
Laughter, joy and gratitude pour out of me
I am a sexy bitch
I am tall, I am able, and I am worthy

Yet you seem to want to tear me down.

Piece me back together with bits and pieces of others you've known..

I am a proud, I am strong, I am an independent woman who knows her values and will always remain true to herself.
I am a strong bitch, WHOLE, and what I'm not, is your fucking build-a-bear!!

Nosey Biatch...

So if you know me, you know that people fascinate me. I am one of those girls who can be found spending a marathon day viewing the real housewives, love and hip hop, the braxtons or some other equally ridiculous reality show. It shocks me that some people would allow their lives to be so public, but I admit when you start watching you can't help but to sit on the edge of your seat to see what next bit of stupidity/insanity might unfold. This phenomenon can't be singled out to the arena of reality tv, Facebook itself is another form of obsessing into another's four walls. We sit idly by and watch what is going on...

Maybe we're just curious about other's lives and sincerely want to share in their successes and mourn their losses
Maybe we're using the information to gossip
Maybe we're the kind of person who finds their worth in "comparing" what we have with someone else

I remember for years feeling so blessed that I never had to deal with a man that had a Facebook account. Sitting on each other's pages, endlessly obsessing about what may or may not be going on.

"Who's this chick?"
"What she mean by that comment?"
"Why you looking at her that way?"
"Why this bitch the first to like all your posts, nosey biatch??"

Somehow though, in today's age, even excluding yourself from the world of Facebook may not prevent a person from getting caught up.. by another person's innate and innocent curiosity, by our desire to be in the "know", to sit on the edge of our seats!! It's drama, its suspense, it seems fake, but is it...

Love and Hip Hop this season has been mind blowing (or maybe the phrase is mind numbing) to me, to see a man live and share his life with the mother of his kids, someone he's lived with for over 10 years, but then have a side relationship with his artist, actually wed her and show his ass on national tv having this bitch pinned down on a piano.. smdh..

It hurts my heart to know others who have been in this same position, either as the 10 year chick or the newbie. No woman should have to deal with deception, and as I have learned throughout the years, deception can take on many faces..

There's that face that flat out lies
There's that face that leaves out the punch line or most crucial part of the story
Or my favorite, the face that tells you 99% truth so that you trust them and they can manipulate and play on that trust (sneaky little bastards)

The one thing you realize is that deception can leave you acting outside your character... Doing things you wouldn't normally believe in, making your business even more public to hurt the other parties involved, or as my neighbor displayed recently expressing your emotions "waiting to exhale" style by throwing piles of his unmentionables on the front lawn!!!

When I think about myself, and my innate curiosity, it makes me realize that sometimes, facing the drama, scanning the random Facebook page only causes me to cringe.. I have to stop and say to myself, I don't want to know these people's skeletons... so Tara, stop being a nosey biatch!!!