So I'm the chick that never gets out. I do the whole work to home, home to work routine with few pit stops in between. I've never been much to go out solo to a happy hour or to socialize mid-week, so as a single, healthy, attractive woman my options to meet eligible bachelors have been few. A few years ago I enter into the world of online dating.
Online dating gets a unique rap... Some people say its unnatural, its just filled with losers and perverts, that nobody is serious, that its a set up for failure. While I get that and sometimes agree, I think to myself "well damn I'm on here and I know I'm no loser" but I got to say lately I've seriously contemplated this revolution..
Is online dating the new normal? When you're grown up and not in school, how do you meet people? When I reflect I realize I've only been approached in places outside the club at a bookstore and gas station? Men rarely speak up and approach a woman while they're out running errands... The fact is technology is the age we're currently living, people do everything online, shop, pay bills, research, read, they even order groceries through the net. Who goes out any more? Does this mean we have to wrap our minds around this new normal of online dating??
My experiences with online dating have been mixed... I've exchanged dates with some decent, respectable men. I've also met some sleezy, disrespectful idiots. Of late I seem to meet the guys that use it as a way to corral women and will ask you to meet them before you even exchange names. Maybe they're trying to quickly flip the experience to one that is more organic or old-school .. I've also found the guys that think that because I'm responding to them I'm making a bold commitment to be with them. They've claimed me and are taking me out of the single woman pond.. smdh
The thing that puzzles me the most and that honestly makes me dislike this new online revolution is the ADD (attention deficit disorder) syndrome. This occurs when a person looks at one person and begins a genuine dialogue with them (for weeks, sometimes months). However while they're doing this, they're online every day looking for more: the bigger better option. Maybe I can find a chick a little cuter, maybe I can find a chick with a body that's just a little bit better.. I recently discussed this with a friend who said that while he doesn't online date, he also practices the ADD syndrome and that the fact that its not online makes it somewhat less blatant.. In other words, the fact that these sites show you that a dude is "online today" is just what's hurting the game... Facebook shows all your dirt, dating sites show it just as much. Life is now just lived very publicly. While I understand that our age is now prone to technology, it saddens me.
It makes me sad that it is more rare than common that I feel a sense of being courted by a man because of what technology lets me see. Its sad that you can't let trust build with someone in a natural way and that instead it's common to do a quick google/Facebook search to get some dirt (and that believe it or not most men are no longer offended and instead expect it). I hate that if I do "innocently" befriend someone on Facebook, my reality is distorted and that I can no longer take things at face value because doing so will make me naive. I hate more that if I choose not to befriend someone so I can let things develop in an old-fashion organtic way, that now I have something to hide. While I am one for change and growth. I wish we could be old school about things such as manners, chivalry, getting to really know someone, and courting. It saddens me that it is veeerrryyy likely my nieces and future daughters wont get to experience that and that instead they get to have their reality be distorted by technology.
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