In the past week I've had three of my girls break down and analyze "trust". Dating and love is hard. Even the best of relatiionships are hard. The more you open up the more there's room for vulnerability to creep in. The truth of the matter is that most in their lives have been exposed to some element of dishonesty from someone. Whether it was a parent, lover or friend. Being in a situation of dishonesty is world changing......
I think our past often define us. We live our lives guarded against our weakest (blind) spots. We unknowingly blame the new guy for past hurts. It's natural and it's hard to break the cycle. I've found for me that the trick is being very observant of the new person. What he says, does, how he shows respect and love. You have to let that guide you.
Our weakness is always there. We have to know ourselves and get past that fear. That's really the only way to open ourselves up and get to something better, something happier, and something sturdy.
I think about all the women out there who've been dogged and now close themselves off and I'm saddened. Or other women who had no positive male role models and now open themselves up too much. Sometimes I think of then men who are in similar situtions, dogged by fathers with no strong role models.
I know my perspective by some might sound naive but how's life worth living if you view the world through other glasses. No the world may not always be rose colored but there are a lot of beautiful elements, beautiful things to learn and share. I've always thought that the beauty of life is better reflected in a shared experience. Having someone to be there to not only validate your life but to help nurture and feed it.
its really hard not to hold your past against someone when your past issues have made it hard to trust. but how unfair is it to assume that the current person is as irresponsible with your heart as the last? ive been there before, on both sides, very frustrating on both ends.
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