Better to have loved and lost or

They say that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. That's an interesting statement.. One that I've often discussed with friends who's opinions lie on both ends of the spectrum.. I at one time found myself torn...

I know so many people who bemoan their singleness. They say it's awful, lonely, boring, difficult. The search for that special person is a full time job that nobody wants to venture into. Sure the beginning stages are great. You get those butterflies that come with the "newness" of the relationship. You spend hours on the phone finding out each others personalities, similarities, differences, values, joys, sorrows. You get to absorb into each other. But once this stage wears off what happens next? If you're lucky you continue on your high (granted a more level one). If not, what most find, is that right around the 3 month mark people begin to change. It's like they put their best foot forward and now the true quirks and personalities flaws come shining through. You spend those next 3 months finding out the true or shall we say "whole" picture.

On the other hand you have those other people. You know the ones who are actually in relationships. Now again, you may have those rare few that proclaim they have a dream come true in their significant other. The rest of this population however, spend time complaining, "Man this is work", "This fool doesn't appreciate anything", "You can't live with them, can't shoot them". This group honestly love their partner but can't seem to figure out how to maintain a healthy balance. Maybe they still struggle to figure that balance out, or maybe they are struggling to satisfy both partner's needs. Sometimes it seems the confusion and work is not worth the effort.

Better to have loved and lost... The reality is do you choose to be alone and lonely or to risk your heart and commit yourself to the hard work a good relationship requires. It seems like the answer would be simple but for those who have opened themselves up and been hurt, its not..

Than to never have loved at all... Love, I believe, is what makes the world go around. Life is much brighter, much more enjoyable, much more exciting when you have someone there by your side. To motivate you, inspire you, believe in you, remind you to take in the small things, share your experiences, validate your life.

I've been on both ends. I've been the single one. Dating tirelessly and being disillusioned time and time again. Enthralled but exhausted with the "game" that seems to be commonplace in this day and age. I've also been in the relationship. Happy and content and yet struggling to make it all make sense.

What I've come to find out is that love is wonderful, loss is painful, but the journey makes it all worth while. If you're smart, as I believe myself to be, you take both and you learn. You take the great of the love and you make mental notes about what made it so great. You then take the pain of the loss and you find a way to make it a lesson learned (whether small or large). You find a way to develop your own balance so that the pain doesn't hinder your ability to love again and the love allows you the ability to believe in wonderful possibilities and ultimate and complete happiness!!