I haven't had a lot of relationships...

I haven't had a lot of relationships. The first boy I ever kissed, kissed me in the middle of the mall while I was mid thought. He pulled out my chair, I walked around him and pulled out my own. Next kiss happened 7 years later at 21. I was flirting and all of a sudden somehow ended up making out in a dark room. I don't remember much how that happened. In between I had one date. It was earlier in my 21st year and one night he went out to wash his car. He offered to wash mine but it was 9pm, too late to be out on a school night.

The first guy I had a relationship with was my second kiss. The second was a guy who had to blow into a device to get his car to start. The next of the dating pool weren't one in a million. A wanna-be celebrity, a wanna-be writer, a wanna-be pimp, a wanna-be man's man, a wanna-be comedian; a whole lot of wanna-bes, a whole lack of really-be. I remember one taking me to the hood where he lived, into the house to find five people sitting AA style in the front room, nothing in the room but lawn chairs and a fish tank with a smelly snake.

I've had some men come calling with a tool belt when needed, some make me laugh when the only thing I want to do was cry. Some make me realize what true chivelry is, what real integrity is, what a real man is. I've found one who has gotten me, one who've I've gotten, one who wants to know, one who I want to know, one who understands me better than I understand myself.

From each, I've changed. I've hurt a little, healed a little, hated a little, loved a little, regressed a little, matured a little.

Over the years there's been a lot of bumps in the road. Some great detours, some spectacular views, some dangerous and stupid trails, some humorous, some scary, some huge, some small. I've been on many roads. I've come to the realization that the best one was the one I directed myself. I haven't had a lot of relationships but I know this, once I figured out my road, my path, mySELF, that's when the best was waiting to tackle the road with me...